my: Way Nice Wife

On my way to take Aysen to playgroup I was on the phone with my dear, sweet husband having a little discussion; I wanted him to send an email.  An email I wouldn't have cared so much about if I was significantly more perfect.  More full of love.  Filled with more charity.  The chatter lead to the fact that he has NO vices and I have plenty.  He tried to disagree and claimed I was a "way nice wife."  I asked him to name two things he isn't perfect in, knowing this would be a challenge.  I had my lengthy list of imperfections spinning through my mind, the downfall of being able to see into your own heart.  I do not remember both vices he named but one he claimed was his inability to hula hoop.  For reals.  Virtues aren't his problem, he just hasn't conquered his physical self yet.  He seems to center his life around Christ more than me, much, much, more.

The conversation ended upon our arrival and after playgroup I went to work.  My mother-in-law had offered to help with Aysen (m.i.l. was a great example to her son of sainthood).  I didn't have anything pressing for the day so I went to work on monthly reports.  

While sitting at work I received the following email from Andy:

Hey Sweetie,

Just wanted to say thank you for being the "Way Nice Wife" that you are!  Not just for the salsa yesterday, but for much more.  I feel like I have a really good life, and I believe the core reason for that is because I have a really good Wife.  You are so amazing to me.  You manage so much of our home, and keep it all on track, and working like a well oiled machine.  I feel like my role is to fix stuff, and you take care of the rest.  We certainly have our struggles, but without the struggles, how would we recognize the perfection we have in our home?  You are a wonderful Way Nice Wife!

I love having you as my best friend too.  Even before we were married, you were one of my best friends.  You've always been so easy for me to get along with...and I know others saw that too.  We were made for each other, and I love being with you.  I wish I was more funny, more interesting, had a six pack, could leap tall buildings in a single bound, etc.  But, I am what I am, I can do 30 push-ups, I can do about 23.5 sit-ups without stopping, I can't hula hoop very well, and I hide my growing mid section by not tucking in my shirt.  I have gray hair patches, and facial hair patches, small feet with apparently gross toes (I actually like my toes).  I hear that I have some pretty good looking legs from the knee down....and I'm cool with that.  Some of these things I can change, some I can't...although, I may end up with a six pack some day.  But in the end, I just want to love and be loved.  You are the one I want to love and be loved by.  You are so special to me.  I hope that you know of my love for you.  I want to make you happy, I want for you to feel loved, I want for you to feel special.  I want to be the one your excited to tell about your amazing day, the one you tell about your not so exciting days.  I want to share your laughs and sorrows.  I want to be one of the reasons your excited to wake up every day for.  Thank you for being all these things for me, I hope that I can become these things for you.

I love you so much!

PS.  Since you've claimed WNW status, I wanted to see if I could figure out how to arrive at WNH ("Way Nice Husband") status.  I've got a few ideas attached...let me know what you think.

Here were the attached ideas:

Way Nice Husband Idea #1

Way Nice Husband Idea #2

Way Nice Husband Idea #3

When I read the title to the email I wasn't surprised.  He sends nice messages quite frequently, especially when I'm down on myself.  But, I had NO idea this was coming.  

When we got home from our trip to California (to play softball) this summer, Andy started looking for vacations.  With the pressures he felt coaching he returned home far from relaxed and refreshed.  He mentioned going to Boston (a return trip has been my dream since we went for his work in 2003).  I fell in love with the city, the people, the food, the history, the weather and Fenway.  I toured the ballpark the day we were leaving and have wanted to watch the Red Sox play from that day forward.  Andy is well aware of the fact that if I was to ever run away it would be to Boston.

When he mentioned going back in August I told him my ideal vacation would be to have NO notice.  (I am much better at doing things last minute.  I feel confined or claustrophobic when my calendar is scheduled out months in advance).  

Ask and ye shall receive.

This weeks scheduled was pretty routine.  It involved softball, soccer, dancing, piano, crochet, art classes (I'm teaching at the elementary), cannery, homecoming and a primary program practice.  With the help of our parents he had taken care of all of it except for the art class which I promptly asked to reschedule.  

I wanted to cry and shout for joy all at the same time but I just sat at my desk dumbfounded that it was real.  I was going to Boston with the love of my life.  Four days with no obligations except for sitting behind home plate at a Red Sox game.  The rest of the time we could punt.  I love punting.  And while I'm being irresponsible, basking in the arms of my husband, I knew my children would be well taken care of.

I have heard the word spoiled come up when others hear how I will be spending my week.  I cannot argue.  It is true.  Just by being married to Andy, I am spoiled.  He is my better half.  He is the calm while I am the storm.  I love every last drop of him, even his toes.

I am blessed.

Andy I love you.  Thank you for making amazing things happen.  This is the second time I have been kidnapped during our marriage.  Spectacular, everyday is this.  I know you love me, even with my vices.  You take care of me, our children and our home.  I know you can fix anything and succeed at anything you decide to conquer.  I love your ability to have patience and not sweat the small stuff.  To look deeper into a person's soul and find the good that dwells within.  You are not perfect but close enough I may need to figure out a thing or two to keep you on this earth with me.

Thanks!

P.S.  WNH status was achieved the day you gained the title of husband.  I love you!

School Days, School Days, all the Golden Rule Days

While attending Back to School night with Keanna and Kyler we had a conflict.  Aysen searched all over Kyler's classroom for his desk.  Explanation and reason couldn't convince him he wasn't old enough to attend school like his brother and sisters.

He was unhappy.

This posed a serious problem.  His 3rd birthday is quickly approaching and he will no longer be invited to attend playgroup through the Early Intervention program.  He has been going for over a year and this is "his school."

Keanna auditioned for Nutcracker a few days after back to school night.   While I was watching her I was visiting with Kyler's old preschool teacher, Ms. Shauna.  She was wondering how Kyler liked his new teacher.  My response included the fact that the teacher was great but Aysen couldn't figure out why she didn't have a desk set-up for him.  I finished by asking her if she didn't want to start a class for 2 year olds and before the conversation was over, Aysen was enrolled to be the eighth student in her 3 year old class.

Today was his first day of school.  He dressed himself.

Aysen, Age 2, First day of School

The shirt is on backwards, his legs only use one hole, and except for the incessant choking caused by the shirt facing the wrong direction he was dressed to perfection in his "baseball outfit."

Grandma Linda dropped him off for me (I was attending a funeral) and reported he went with no hesitation.  I picked him up and he had a gigantic smile, carrying the treat bucket that was almost his same size.  If he was potty-trained all complications would be resolved.

My older children also had their first day of school and I did pause my anti-photography strike.  The traditional pictures were taken and each child even added in their own pose or two.

I love to see what outfits are chosen for this most important occasion.

Taylei, 8th Grade, 13

I took each of the children shopping SEPARATELY this year.  Brilliant, every once in a while I surprise myself that I can be so smart.  Except for the fact that I spent most of two days in dressing rooms, everything else went so much smoother than normal.

The mother-daughter date included lunch, haircuts and treats.  The shopping trips even concluded before their money ran out, though it is still burning holes in their pockets.  Taylei finished with 7 pairs of new shoes and is online seeking out the eighth.  She also purchased her first four pairs of colored skinny jeans.  How long do you think this trend will last?

Keanna, 5th Grade, 10

Keanna informed me she didn't want any shirts with pictures or words.  It must either be a sign of growing up or maybe she has discovered she doesn't want to advertise for a company without being paid. 

As we were driving to the stores Keanna pulled out a list of what she hoped to buy.  Hilarious.  She had itemized her needs and budgeted the funds she anticipated spending in each category.  A shawl was her greatest priority but we didn't find one.  Taylei was mindful of this.  She kept an eye out and found a white one to do the trick.  When we brought it home to give it to her Taylei thought Keanna would be so excited she wanted to video her reaction which did not disappoint.  If awards could have been offered I would have held the title of "Best Mom Ever."

Kyler, 1st Grade, 7

Boys are much easier to shop for.  I have been purchasing t-shirts for Kyler as I found them throughout the summer and he didn't need much more.  Finding some shoes though were a giant problem, nothing he liked was available in his size.  Our search area kept expanding and we were finally successful just when I was on the verge of giving up all hope.

I did strip Kyler of his agency as he chose what to wear for the day.  He only likes basketball shorts.  I instructed him he had to wear denim for the first day (since the camera was coming out of the closet I wanted to document he does have more options than he chooses).  Maybe not nice, but I am the mother and I do need to ruin their lives on occasion, isn't that part of the job description?

The Woodland's met at our house for our annual back to school group shot.  (I'm pretty sure Keanna is still taller than Jake.  He was always standing on the high side of the ground.  I may need to investigate further).

Back to School pictures taken August 22, 2012

Wicked

For our tenth anniversary my sweet, dear, kind, amazing, smarter-than-me husband took me to The Big Apple, also known as New York, New York.   I loved almost every minute but at the same time had a deep feeling of gratitude that this was just a short visit.  Relishing in the knowledge we would be returning shortly to our quiet, country town living.

While there we went and watched Wicked.  A broadway musical I knew nothing about and was slightly nervous of the title (not scary I learned).

I dreamed from the moment I watched this magnificent production of attending with my daughters.  I loved the message of the show and wanted to share it with them.  When it began touring and came to Salt Lake  I was extremely disappointed; the ticket price was outrageous.  It would almost be worth flying the girls to New York.

This year with Mary Dawn's assistance we had tickets in her cart.  I was ecstatic.  Short lived mind you.  She was delayed checking out and the tickets were dumped.  Never to be found again.  I was comforted that it wasn't meant to be and I would try again the next time it toured.

But blessings abound.

My mother purchased tickets and then found she would be out of state for the performance.  Through her great kindness I had the opportunity to take my girls to my favorite musical of all time.

We made it into a mini-vacation and used one of our free Marriott nights.  Andy swam with the boys at the pool and the girls and I went on a date.  They wanted to know what it was about.  I explained it was the prequel to the Wizard of Oz and that maybe Elphaba, also known as the Wicked Witch of the West, may not be the evil person they have been lead to believe.

Magical -- the best word to describe it.  Both girls sat on the edge of their seats absorbing the fictional world being created.  Their eyes glistened, smiles beamed and there were giggles, giggles and giggles.  It was a night I will always remember and I hope they do as well.
  

T-shirts were purchased as souvenirs.  I really wanted to get them a "Defy Gravity" shirt (a message I hoped they learned) but their size was sold out.  

If dinner had been better the event would have been perfect -- perfection is over-rated though, really.  

Sunday morning we toured Temple Square as a family.  It was beautiful.  The grounds were serene, the temple had windows which were cracked open, something I would have never thought possible.  We spent a great deal of time in the basement of the North Visitor's Center viewing the interactive exhibits.  The spirit was strong and I felt an overwhelming peace.  

The whole deal was sweetened when I found I had captured this awesome photograph of my children.  They are my greatest blessing along with their father who happens to be my favorite, just saying.

Event occurred August 25-26, 2012

Have I Done Any Good in the World Today?

This was the theme of my relief society lesson. 

The last lesson I gave was completely scripted.  Word for word for word.  It was awful.  This is not how I normally speak.  I usually like a few bullet points for prompters and then my mouth runneth over from there.  The inherent risks of said bambling, tangents.  Tangents which seem to distract from the spirit.  I thought then complete scripting might be my solution.  That was the last time I will prepare a talk so that it could be given by someone else if I happen to get run over by a runaway go kart on my way to church.  I hated it.  I sat down and felt like I missed the boat.

Bookmarks I made for the sisters

Today was a different experience.  I woke up this morning with media helps, notes, handouts and "fluff" for the table but without any direction on how to connect the dots.  I had decided upon a video I wanted to share quite some time ago.  Then I choose a song (we just listened, I didn't like the music video) to accompany the message.  Andy thought the song might be a little too rock and rollish, I liked that it was upbeat, that maybe service was fun, not work.  I also visited lds.org to get some material from the prophets on the subject.  Research doesn't get any easier.

I wanted my focus to be on doing good in our everyday journey.  To make a conscious effort to look for the needs of others, especially within our family.

I felt so unprepared, yet prepared so I yielded to a deep hope that the Spirit would direct me when I began.  The tears were flowing by the end of the meeting.  I felt the spirit and I know others did as well.

I now feel an overwhelming sense of relief.  The pressure has been eliminated and I was spiritually fed.  The giant blessing which comes from preparing a message.  I began with 8 pages of awesome stories and quotes and ended with 2 to share with the sisters, eliminating stories and messages I loved that time wouldn't allow.

Some of my favorite thoughts (please note, none of the following were my thoughts, all were copied from lds.org):

L. Tom Perry shared this in regards to "Have I Done Any Good in the World Today."  "There is a familiar hymn I would like to have you adopt as a theme song.  I would like to have you sing it each morning as you arise to lift the hearts and spirits of your family. Whistle it as you go down the street on your way to work to remind you that the path you take will be a cleaner, happier place because you passed that way. Hum it in your shops or offices to encourage all around you to make a greater contribution. Meditate on it as you retire and kneel in prayer of thanksgiving for the opportunities you have had that day to make the world a better place."

Our opportunities to give of ourselves are indeed limitless, but they are also perishable. There are hearts to gladden. There are kind words to say. There are gifts to be given. There are deeds to be done. There are souls to be saved.  What a formula for happiness! What a prescription for contentment, for inner peace

An article written by Jack McConnell, MD tells how he grew up in the hills of southwest Virginia i as one of seven children of a Methodist minister and a stay-at-home mother. Their circumstances were very humble. He recounted that during his childhood, every day as the family sat around the dinner table, his father would ask each one in turn, “And what did you do for someone today?”   The children were determined to do a good turn every day so they could report to their father that they had helped someone. Dr. McConnell calls this exercise his father’s most valuable legacy, for that expectation and those words inspired him and his siblings to help others throughout their lives. As they grew and matured, their motivation for providing service changed to an inner desire to help others.

We become so caught up in the busyness of our lives. Were we to step back, however, and take a good look at what we’re doing, we may find that we have immersed ourselves in the “thick of thin things.” In other words, too often we spend most of our time taking care of the things which do not really matter much at all in the grand scheme of things, neglecting those more important causes.

President Monson shares "Many years ago I heard a poem which has stayed with me, by which I have tried to guide my life. It’s one of my favorites:

I have wept in the night

For the shortness of sight

That to somebody’s need made me blind;

But I never have yet

Felt a tinge of regret

For being a little too kind."

I ended the lesson with my testimony and this challenge:

"May we resolve from this day forward to fill our hearts with love. May we go the extra mile to include in our lives any who are lonely or downhearted or who are suffering in any way. May we “[cheer] up the sad and [make] someone feel glad.” May we live so that when that final summons is heard, we may have no serious regrets, no unfinished business, but will be able to say with the Apostle Paul, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.”"