Andy and I came to a conclusion regarding our recent differences. Items on my agenda were abandoned and our children were placed in the custody of others while we spent a night away.
Besides the side effects of driving up and down Provo Canyon everything was spectacular (I do have one or two adjectives in my vocabulary besides amazing). I surprised Andy by picking him up from work earlier than expected. The American Red Cross missed me at the blood drive but I realized as the day progressed I needed to make the most out of our evening together.
This was our first night away since Aysen was born almost two and a-half years earlier. We have left our other children much sooner than this and vacationed in Hawaii, New York, and Boston. Midway, Utah isn't as exotic as any of these destinations but it was just what the doctor ordered.
Time with my husband. One-on-one time. Time where his focus was me (and maybe his new calling).
Everything was low-key. Late breakfast. Shopping trip in Provo. Miscellaneous errands and then back to reality. Softball practice and children. A beautiful reality, mind you.
Showing posts with label Us. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Us. Show all posts
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Frustration, Anger and
Today it was cold, really cold. Andy had a game scheduled for Insanity (a new softball team Taylei is a member of, don't ask) to play against the Strikers in Spanish Fork.
This morning, when it was time for Taylei to go to the bus, I drove her. The wind was blowing horizontally. The stop is one-half block from our home but I feared that a gust might pick her up and drop her off in the land of Oz. Or, what if a tree branch broke and in its spiral to the earth found her in its path and knocked her unconscious. This was serious. Driving her to the bus stop is ridiculous but after watching the trees sporadic movements I was truly concerned for her safety.
By mid-morning the wind died but brief snow flurries, rain, or hail kept appearing. During this time I had a realization. My calendar was void of obligations for Tuesday, March 27. Last week I was constantly running. A free day was heaven sent. Andy has FTO (flexible time-off) he has to use or lose by the end of the month. He purchased a certificate for a night at the Zermatt resort in Midway last December and we have been trying to schedule a night away.
Tonight would have been perfect -- except Andy had a softball game on the calendar. Solution: CANCEL due to weather. The expected high for the day was 50. The wind made it feel like 10. There were no umpires involved so the game could easily be rescheduled for a later date.
Softball, my greatest blessing and greatest curse.
I should have never suggested the cancellation. As it grew closer and closer to game time my frustration levels increased. Andy was not willing to give up a game to spend an evening with me. The coach of the other team was at the field and didn't feel the weather would be a factor. I tried to explain to Andy he had as much right to cancel as the other coach. Negative.
I had a slight temper-tantrum and refused to attend. Taylei was begging for a ride with the other girls and I stayed home. Feelings hurt. Softball was more important than me. We haven't even made it to the month of April and I'm already feeling my place of importance has been upended.
Dinner was waiting when Taylei and Andy came home. They ate it on the way to Ari's birthday party. (Direct quote from Taylei, "This is going to be the best dinner of the entire week." Potato cakes, hard-boiled eggs, and hash browns were served).
Andy and I had made it to bed without discussing the state of my being. He can read me like the newspaper so I know unhappiness was written across my face. He ventured to say good night and hoped I was fine. In an unprecedented act, I admitted my hurt.
Have I ever mentioned Andy is my better half. He didn't lash back in disgust. He patiently rubbed my feet while I blogged, hoping to have a discussion with my soul. So funny, three days earlier I'm on cloud nine with his softball involvement and today I have a passionate hatred.
He has mentioned my mood is unpredictable. That I'm a thousand-sided dice. He never knows which mood I'll land on, how long the mood will last, or what action will prompt the change. Tonight it is hurt.
I love him, he isn't perfect. I realize I frustrate him as much or more than he frustrates me. I'll get over the hurt and wonder why I ever had such feelings but for today, this is me.
I write this to acknowledge Andy and I have moments when things aren't perfect. I'm human, he's human. Repentance and forgiveness are needed on a daily basis.
P.S. -- After he got home he did wish we would have gone out of town. He got a phone call that made him extremely uncomfortable. I get to smile inside, he gets to worry, speculate and stress. Funny how things work.
This morning, when it was time for Taylei to go to the bus, I drove her. The wind was blowing horizontally. The stop is one-half block from our home but I feared that a gust might pick her up and drop her off in the land of Oz. Or, what if a tree branch broke and in its spiral to the earth found her in its path and knocked her unconscious. This was serious. Driving her to the bus stop is ridiculous but after watching the trees sporadic movements I was truly concerned for her safety.
By mid-morning the wind died but brief snow flurries, rain, or hail kept appearing. During this time I had a realization. My calendar was void of obligations for Tuesday, March 27. Last week I was constantly running. A free day was heaven sent. Andy has FTO (flexible time-off) he has to use or lose by the end of the month. He purchased a certificate for a night at the Zermatt resort in Midway last December and we have been trying to schedule a night away.
Tonight would have been perfect -- except Andy had a softball game on the calendar. Solution: CANCEL due to weather. The expected high for the day was 50. The wind made it feel like 10. There were no umpires involved so the game could easily be rescheduled for a later date.
Softball, my greatest blessing and greatest curse.
I should have never suggested the cancellation. As it grew closer and closer to game time my frustration levels increased. Andy was not willing to give up a game to spend an evening with me. The coach of the other team was at the field and didn't feel the weather would be a factor. I tried to explain to Andy he had as much right to cancel as the other coach. Negative.
I had a slight temper-tantrum and refused to attend. Taylei was begging for a ride with the other girls and I stayed home. Feelings hurt. Softball was more important than me. We haven't even made it to the month of April and I'm already feeling my place of importance has been upended.
Dinner was waiting when Taylei and Andy came home. They ate it on the way to Ari's birthday party. (Direct quote from Taylei, "This is going to be the best dinner of the entire week." Potato cakes, hard-boiled eggs, and hash browns were served).
Andy and I had made it to bed without discussing the state of my being. He can read me like the newspaper so I know unhappiness was written across my face. He ventured to say good night and hoped I was fine. In an unprecedented act, I admitted my hurt.
Have I ever mentioned Andy is my better half. He didn't lash back in disgust. He patiently rubbed my feet while I blogged, hoping to have a discussion with my soul. So funny, three days earlier I'm on cloud nine with his softball involvement and today I have a passionate hatred.
He has mentioned my mood is unpredictable. That I'm a thousand-sided dice. He never knows which mood I'll land on, how long the mood will last, or what action will prompt the change. Tonight it is hurt.
I love him, he isn't perfect. I realize I frustrate him as much or more than he frustrates me. I'll get over the hurt and wonder why I ever had such feelings but for today, this is me.
I write this to acknowledge Andy and I have moments when things aren't perfect. I'm human, he's human. Repentance and forgiveness are needed on a daily basis.
P.S. -- After he got home he did wish we would have gone out of town. He got a phone call that made him extremely uncomfortable. I get to smile inside, he gets to worry, speculate and stress. Funny how things work.
 |
| Picture taken January 23, 2008, Hawaii Warm enough to play softball -- I would never be able to suggest weather cancellations. P.S. -- After he got home he did wish we would have gone out of town. He got a phone call that made him extremely uncomfortable. I get to smile inside, he gets to worry, speculate and stress. Funny how things work. |
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day
During the morning hustle I found a note from Andy.
The note read: "To find your valentine, you must follow your instincts, hopefully they are sharp this day, to solve all these clues!!!! Here is your first clue: A portal into the past, a reminder of the present." The family took a break from routine to help me.
Too bad my instincts were anything but sharp. I looked in the scrapbook sitting next to me. Nothing. Andy is smarter than me. I will admit it any day of the week. We think on different wave lengths. His seems to function at a higher, more productive, slow to react, analyze the situation, solve the problem kind of level.
Answer to clue #1: The kitchen window where I can see the barn but be reminded there are still dishes to be done. Higher level I tell you.
Clue #2: "NEWS FLASH, Andy loves Tina" I once again was stumped. We only get the newspaper Friday through Sunday and it had been disposed of. I went in to check my computer, ksl.com, ktvx.com, msn.com and todayshow.com are my links to the world. Andy shook his head at me and said we needed to watch more television at our house.
Clue #3: 01001001 001000000 0111011111 0111011001100101 0 . . . the only clue I figured out on my own - the computer.
Clue #4: "my safety champion" The only idea that came to my mind was the gate to block the stairs from Aysen. Taylei figured out the clue immediately but before I had an idea, Andy left for work and the girls headed to school. Taylei tried to hint as she was walking out the door but no lights came on. At this point, I quit. Clueless. The word describes me in so many ways. Andy called and said Champion is a brand for this item but ours was a Yukon Gold. The only thing I could think of now were potatoes. Andy basically had to spell it out - our gun safe.
Clue #5: "ready, get set, eat!" lead me to the fridge. I found a clue carefully taped to the ceiling. I was so proud of myself until Andy told me I was wrong and had just skipped a bunch of clues. The real answer: the kitchen table.
Clue #6: "whirly twirly, you mesmerize me" By this point Andy decided to just stay on the phone with me and help me through. Answer: Our bedroom fan.
Clue #7: "clothing not recommended" Not my first guess but the shower was my second. I found the clue above the shower door, secured in a ziploc bag. (Maybe Andy presumed it might take me a few days to complete this hunt and he wanted it preserved).
Clue #8: "ray, ray, where art though?" The sun! Which I have missed for the last four months. The clue was taped to the side of the plant. I had watered the plant earlier in the morning and didn't even see it.
Clue #9: "too much black delight will make you sweat" Once again my instinct was wrong but in honor of the need for heat I found the clue taped to the wood-burning stove.
Clue #10: "magic light, i only come one when you need to see what you eat" Luckily I had already found this clue inside the fridge.
Clue #11: "no leftover keys here" After looking in our spare key box, Andy reminded me it said "no leftover." The piano.
Clue #12: (My favorite clue) "I Love You!"
Taped to each clue was a red puzzle piece. On the back of the completed puzzle was a love note from my sweetie. A love note is my favorite kind of present. I love him! I will be forever in pursuit of becoming his equal.
Happy Valentine's Day to all! The day to remind those you love that you love them. This can never happen to frequently.
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