Venom like a Snake

Today was to be a most glorious event, last week wards were adjusted and with the creation of the Mona 4th ward we are assigned back to our old building.  This is the church a half a block from our home.  The church building I grew up in.  The one I have walked to almost my entire life.  Celebration!

With the change I needed to turn in my keys to our previous building.  Keys that could not be located this morning.  Keys which I seldom use but Andy and Taylei take advantage of for a little bit of basketball practice.  Where had my husband lost them?

Our children lost patience waiting for us to leave and started walking without us.  We headed after them but I had fire in my soul.  My tongue spewed forth words which were extremely unkind and directed towards my husband, venomous words.  The same man who just yesterday I sang praises to on this blog of mine.

I sat in sacrament meeting still steaming.  Thoughts circled and circled and went something like this, "Lost keys, I will be a disgrace."

People would know of my lack of perfection -- this is something I try to hide, the fact that I'm, you know, human.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have thousand of weaknesses and I am all to aware of each of them but I try to keep the rest of the world from knowing.

Wow!

I am a wreck.

In an effort to be more honest with myself, I'm determined to let the real me shine forth on this blog and not just share the person I hope the world perceives me as.  My cousin, Marie, does an amazing job of this very thing and I love reading her trials, her imperfect thoughts.  My soul is lightened after almost every post.

Back to the story . . .

I was to turn in my keys after sacrament meeting.  While waiting to explain my failure, I sent Taylei home to check and see if the keys were in my church bag (you know, the place I should have looked first).  Within a few minutes, she was back with keys in hand.

No one at church knows they were lost.  No one knows I was once again imperfect.

No one except for Andy, the one who happens to matter most of all.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Why do I repeatedly take out my frustrations on him?  Why am I not better?

When Taylei and I made it home from church he was out on the driveway shooting hoops with our boys.  As soon as he saw Taylei he questioned her about the last time they had used my church keys.  He didn't know they were found.  Even after my unkind words, he was trying to help me.

On the way to the church, he was accosted with, "We all know he is the superior being" in a tone I wished didn't dwell within my soul, a tone that could have cut diamonds.

And now, I'll say it again, he truly is my superior.  This time though, I say it with all the admiration and love my heart can muster.  I love him.  I love all of him.

I'm so grateful for the scripture that admonishes us to forgive 70 times 7 (Matthew 18:21-22).  Andy has done this for me and then some.

This is our engagement picture.

Way back when he decided to take a chance on me.

My life has been beautiful because of it.

Paul and Ari sitting in a tree . . .

My little broskey has finally found true love.  Arianne Richards - a girl from Nephi.  He has sworn for years and years not to date anyone from Nephi, flat out not interested.  Funny how we so very frequently end up eating our words.

This week I have spent some late nights working on their wedding invitation.  (I'm sharing some of the their engagement photos -- none of these were included in the final product so hopefully I don't get in trouble).  The invitations are ordered and should be here next week.  I'm crossing my fingers that the announcements turn out amazing, I'm feeling a little pressure.

Wedding announcements go through some pretty critical critiques with some of my associates.  No kissing pictures were included so the announcement will at least pass one test.

Then there's the factor that a girl doesn't get married everyday and she has dreams from when she was just a little girl of a perfect wedding . . .

Today we had a bridal shower for Ari at my mom's house.  It turned out quite well.  The food was good.  The company was even better and to Paul's great happiness a few of the items he was hoping for were gifted (insert wink).

We played a little game where Ari had to answer questions about Paul.  92 to be exact.  If she answered the question correctly she got to keep the gift (pantry stocking variety).  If she got it wrong the person asking the question had the option of keeping it.  Some of the questions were way easy and some were way hard.  For the most part she was spot on and they have a good start on a month's supply.

I need to have a little date night with Andy and ask him the same questions to see how well I know him after 14 years.

14 years -- can you believe it.  Exactly 14 years ago yesterday he proposed to me.  14 years of him being super amazing and taking care of me.  My brother, Paul commented this week on how it is so good I have him.  He doesn't think anyone else would be able to put up with me and all the crazy things I ask of my spouse.

So, here's to true love, for me, Paul and hopefully the rest of the world.

The cat in the hat knows all about that

In honor of the most famous of authors and his birthday, my children have been celebrating the life of Theodor Seuss Geisel this week at school.  They are usually allowed to dress up as one of their favorite Dr. Seuss characters but this year they shook things up a bit and were allowed to dress up as any storybook character.

When Keanna was three or four years of age she memorized the book "Fancy Nancy."  It is about a girl who has a desire for all things fancy.  She even gives her family lessons to overcome their "plainness."  I read the book to Keanna's class today and remembered why it is also one of my favorites.

The ending page reads: 

'"I love you," my dad says.  "I love you," my mom says. 

And all I say back is, "I love you."  

Because there isn't a fancy--or better--way of saying that.'

Keanna decked herself out as Fancy Nancy, right down to the ribbon-wrapped ankles.  There were two complications to this.  1. It snowed three more inches of the fresh, white powder which is pretty cold on open toes.  2.  Ribbons stay up extremely well as long as you don't move.  If movement occurs said ribbons end up wrapped around your ankles.  Toe comfort was something Keanna was willing to sacrifice for the sake of beauty but I had NO solutions to problem 2.  I began helping Kyler get ready while I thought how to fix it.

Kyler wanted to be the Grinch.  This was a request where I had no costumes to help make his dreams reality.  Last night, at bedtime, I chose to read some stories that he could chose a character from, something I had supplies for.  The books were "Sloppy Joe," "Casey at the  Bat," and "How I Became a Pirate."  You can see which book won out.

And, in honor of Dr. Seuss and all the good he's done for children's literature, I'll end with one of his famous quotes . . .

"You have brains in your head. 

You have feet in your shoes. 

You can steer yourself, 

any direction you choose." 

Dr. Seuss

P.S. Andy fixed the ribbon problem.  While I was busy with Kyler he got out the safety pins and attached the top of the ribbon to the bottom of her leggings.  He is way too smart for me - I would have never thought of it.  My children are smart to believe there dad can fix ANYTHING, they may be right!

There were 5 on the sled and the little one said . . .

BME (Best Mom Ever) that was my name for the day -- according to Kyler anyways.  We woke up this morning to snow, enough for a mini-sledding party.  Nothing was on the agenda until the other kids got out of school (one of the benefits of morning kindergarten).  So out went the invite to some of his kindergarten buddies and out came the sleds.

By the time Taylei and Keanna got out of school most of the snow had melted.  Taylei wondered what happened to it all.  She observed the sledders for a moment and then realized it was being eaten.  Delicious!

This group of kids were awesome.  They stopped for a treat of Cadbury Mini Eggs (Easter candy with a sledding party?  Is that kind of an oxymoron?).  They were still in want of a little something more to snack on so I got out a bucket of popcorn.  My only requirement: back outside to eat it.  I hate a popcorn mess and although popcorn is always in the pantry it seldom gets popped.  The kids were happy as can be to put gloves, coats, boots, hats etc. back on in order to indulge in the buttery goodness making a win/win deal for all parties.

Wheat Thins and Grapes

So, I almost posted last week.  Or, I thought about it for a moment or two.  Aysen and I were home alone and needing a little treat.

I was trying to be an awesome mom (in the eyes of my child) and found Wheat Thins and Easy Cheese for his mid-morning snack.

My two year old son put his nose in the air.  Not interested.

I was trying to make a health conscious choice and grabbed a bunch of grapes for myself.  Aysen may not say many words but his communication skills can be top notch.  He NEEDED the grapes.  I giggled and giggled inside.

 The pictures clearly show he knows the cracker is available but he is choosing grapes.

 Eating them as if they are candy.

Maybe they are candy at my house.  The junk food is always available but the fruits and vegetables are a little more limited.  In my defense, vegetables and fruit go bad, sometimes taste bad and are kind of pricey when you consider the risks involved.

On the other hand, if you by a Symphony bar you know it is going to taste good and your money won't be wasted.  My sister, Mary Dawn, is often unimpressed with how food works at my house.  But then, she visits and witnesses what my children choose to eat and has a hard time putting two and two together.  Blessings from heaven is the answer.

He did finish eating the first bunch of grapes and required more.  

I love all of his little grape eating soul.

Event took place February 24, 2012

Hello . . . Anyone There?

I log on to my blog on a daily basis.  Habit and all.  I'm not looking to see if I have written anything but checking to see what the rest of the world might have to say.  My tongue has been incredibly silent as of late.  In the blogging world anyways.

While perusing my cousin's site I noticed my blog and under my post it showed '7 months.'  Seven months of silence is 7 months too long.  Repentance.

Yesterday, my friend, Lisa decided silence has been to prevalent in her blog world as well.  Then came the deals.  I blog more than her - she makes my family dinner.  I blog less than her - I do her dishes.  Dishes are one of my least hated household chores but I don't like them enough that I want to do hers.  Extra work is a great motivator.

So . . . plan to hear from me.  Voice loud, clear and dishes free -- at least that is going to be the ambition.

I am the author of my day . . .

Today, this is my theme.  So far it seems to be going great.  I set the alarm and woke up earlier this morning (not saying it was early just better than my normal capabilities).  I bought myself a little time to do some laundry, shower and wash off a stove covered in food particles that would make scientists wonder.

I'm back.  I feel back that is.

Andy didn't know what to think when I was smiling before 7 a.m.  Smiles have been hard to come by as of late for me.  Not sure why.  Why?  Way to many why's were circling in my head.  I'm over it.  I'm ready to be the person I can be.  I'm ready to be a better me.  I'm hoping this feeling lasts for a really long time.

Keanna couldn't figure out what the plan was for the day.  When she woke up this morning I was showered and dressed.  Getting dressed hasn't been one of my strong suits.  She knew we were going somewhere but where?  I have a few places on the agenda but nothing rushed or set in stone.

As a side bonus note, Aysen slept in his bed last night, THE WHOLE NIGHT (this was my first time putting him there, maybe I should have tried months ago).  Weird.  I got to snuggle Andy without moving Aysen to one side and then worrying about him falling off.  Andy and I checked on him a few times during the night and he was at complete peace kicking his blankets off from his body.  This was bittersweet.  He is our last.  He is growing up.  He no longer needs me as he once did.  On the other hand, I sure did sleep good.

Now I just need to head to Lisa's house and have her create my thought of the day in vinyl.